


Marble-heavy, a bag full of God.

by BelovedMind



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, F/M, Pain, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-13
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-05-21 19:43:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,166
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14921679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BelovedMind/pseuds/BelovedMind
Summary: "If I’ve killed one man, I’ve killed two—The vampire who said he was youAnd drank my blood for a year,Seven years, if you want to know.Daddy, you can lie back now."A college girl with brown hair and a messy mind.A man with blood-coloured eyes and radical ideals.A story of two individuals, getting caught up in the right place but wrong time.





	1. o n e

Kaede Mori found the daily processes of life to be mundane, too simple, too  _human._  
Wake up, brush teeth, apply makeup, put on some clothes.   
Grab a skinny latte from her local café, try not to be late to her morning class at Kamii University.  
Avoid the stares of her peers at her Classic American Literature class, knowing that their stares are because of her father. Her father, Iehiro Mori.

Iehiro Mori, Japanese Minister of Foreign Affairs, was not what Kaede considered to be an "active" father. The man devotes his whole life, and much more, to his career. Kaede hoped that when her mother was kidnapped by a foreign terrorist group, that maybe, her father would put aside his job to save the woman he cares for. Kaede was wrong, and at the tender age of thirteen, she and her younger brother, Kyou, lost the only person who truly cared for them. Since then, the young brunette has ignored anything that has to do with the stranger who lives in her home, who is no father of her own. 

Taking a final sip of her now cold drink, Kaede grabs her grey backpack, and waltzes out of class to meet with her affable best friend, Emiko Yoshida, at the Kamii University cafeteria. Along the fifteen minute walk, away from the Department of Literature, Kaede ponders, and overthinks about matters. Profound matters, trivial matters. Everything. That's something that Kaede cannot avoid. She overthinks things, and the thoughts, they never stop. They're always there, floating, penetrating her brain, making her nerves jitter and the skin on her head constantly warm. 

Soon enough, Kaede spots Emiko's coral toned hair sitting under a tree, outside of the cafeteria. 

"Kae-chan! I picked up lunch for you as well." Emiko's blue eyes sparkled as she held out a bag of cheese-flavoured fried crisps, whilst snacking from her own.

Kaede let out a chuckle whilst taking the packet from her best friend's hand. "You know, this fried stuff is going to give us cancer one day."

"Well then, we'll have died happy," replied Emiko, whilst stuffing another crisp into her mouth, relishing in the tangy flavour. 

And that's how Kaede's days went. Whilst the sun was out, and day-time rolled about, the young brunette went to her classes, socialised with Emiko, drank a lot of lattes, and studied in the library. And when the sun began to set, a black-tinted luxurious car would be waiting at the entrance of Kamii, waiting to bring Kaede back home into the luxurious penthouse that her family inhabited in the first ward.  _Always a house, but never a home._

However, on this chilly Autumn day, the young brunette never saw the black-tinted car. Kaede waited, and waited. She sat waiting on the bench in the front entrance, but the car never came. Sending out a quick message to the family chauffeur before leaving, Kaede migrated towards the cafeteria. Emiko was long gone by now, and Kaede had no other friend to socialise with, and studying in the library didn't seem particularly appealing to her. Instead, Kaede purchased yet another skinny latte, before sitting down on one the seats, and slipping out a copy of  _King Lear_. 

* * *

 

Hours passed, and no reply came. The cafeteria had closed, forcing the young brunette to go back out into the freezing cold atmosphere of Tokyo. Kaede tried calling the chauffeur, and her father, who demanded that she be driven back home every single day, for security reasons of course.  _Well then, guess I'm taking the metro home._

It was nearing midnight when Kaede finally made it into the first ward. Hugging her thin black hoodie, Kaede cursed herself for not bringing a warmer top. The harsh winds of the city were unforgiving, and it had been a long time since Kaede had been outside.  _Too long._

And so, Kaede began to think some more. The nineteen year old could go home, into the confines of her warm apartment, and just watch some television. Alternatively, Kaede could go to a café, pick up yet another latte, and observe the nightlife.

* * *

 

Before realising, Kaede passed the CCG headquarters, walked some more. Kaede never strayed from the path, always walking in crowds, she wasn't stupid. But she didn't know how long she was walking. She kept walking until her feet throbbed, walking, thinking. Then a strong coffee scent, and a sign inscribed with ":re", caught the young brunette's eye. Kaede strolled in, and was greeted with a quiet atmosphere, and a low "good evening" by a light-haired barista.

"I'll have one skinny latte please, the largest size." Kaede sat herself down on a brown bench, as a young girl passed by, setting down a warm mug in front of her. Muttering a silent thank you, Kaede began to look out of the window of the empty coffee shop, observing the people that pass by.

The low voice who welcomed her spoke again. "You know, a young girl like you really shouldn't be out at this hour. This is a dangerous city after all."

Kaede turned her head towards the source, slight smiling whilst replying. "But wouldn't the biggest danger be shielding yourself from reality?"

The man continued wiping down the clean surface of the bar, as he let out a hum of approval. 

Kaede found the silence of the café comforting, and if anything, it felt like a shelter from the outside world. The bell sound rang, signalling another late night customer. To subdue her curiosity, Kaede turned to see who had come in. To her vision, entered a white-suited man of muscular build, with sharp, angular eyes, and a corresponding attitude. The dark haired man then turned, and the pair's gazes met, and held each other. That fleeting glance lasted for a moment, but to Kaede, felt like a brief eternity.

Gathering her belongings, Kaede left a thousand yen bill, and left the coffee shop. And back she was, walking.

She walked, back home, noting the dynamic nature of her home city. She etched into her memory all the details, of the strangers faces she encountered, the interactions she was witness of. Memory of the men smoking outside of an office. Memory of the homeless man she had given her spare change to. 

* * *

 

When laying back into her bed, one memory was most striking to her. The one where she saw a man with a mask, standing on a roof. Kaede was sure that he was a ghoul, and that was something that both, scared her, and intrigued her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- this will not be cannon to the series (both manga and anime). -
> 
> hello! so this is my new piece of fanfiction. i am currenly obsessed and devoted to tokyo ghoul, and writing this felt only natural to me. this is not planned out, and i am writing as i feel. it would be really nice if you show some love and leave a review.
> 
> until next time,  
> s.


	2. t w o

Weeks had past since Kaede's night out incident. She had gotten an earful from her father the next day, something that Kaede would remember for a while. It made her feel weak.  **Childish.**

_"Do you understand the severity of the situation, Kaede? We live in a city with killers, ghouls, monsters. You should have come home straight home, regardless whether the car was there to pick you up."_

Kaede hated feeling sorry for herself, feeling apologetic about her circumstances. But more than that, Kaede felt confined. Confined to the limits of what was allowed to her, by her father. 

That was why, when Kaede came home early one day, and saw her father having sex with some blonde, foreign woman in the living room, Kaede felt that it was time for her to not feel this childish anymore.

"I need my own personal apartment. I don't care where, just away from here. If you don't want this to spread like wildfire gossip, father, I implore you to do just that."

* * *

"I am in love with your place, it is so fricking cute, Kae-chan! I am definitely going to be staying over a ton!" Emiko's high-pitched, melodic voice echoed through the apartment that Kaede now lived in. The place was designed in a modern manner, reflecting Kaede's personal preferences, and was situated in a relatively safe area near Kamii. 

Chuckling, Kaede responded. "You can stay over anytime that you'd like, Emiko". 

Kaede had been feeling glum since moving, questioning her decision. Was it wise to leave Kyou behind, behind with that man.  _He's a just a child, and her father won't do anything to him. He is the heir to Iehiro's throne, after all._

Sensing her best friend's depleted tone, Emiko felt sad. Sad that she couldn't do more for her best friend. Shaking her head and lightly slapping her face, Emiko declared. "We are young, and we are gorgeous. What are we doing, sitting at home on a Saturday night? Let's go out and have some real fun!"

* * *

 

The young brunette wasn't sure what she was doing in a night club, sipping on a coke and whisky mix. Everything about the bright, colourful, glaring lights, and the questionable characters that Emiko and Kaede had encountered, screamed danger. This was the perfect scene for ghouls to inhabit, and the two young university students were the perfect pair of humans to eat. 

At Emiko's insistence, the pair still came to the club.  _"It'll be fun, and we won't be eaten! This nightclub has been reported to have zero casualties, and isn't it our God-given mandate as young, pretty girls, to go out at least once in our academic careers!"_

Taking another sip of her drink, Kaede sighed. Regardless of the danger, Kaede knew that clubbing wasn't her thing. She didn't find enjoyment grinding against strangers on the dance floor, as Emiko found at this current moment. Kaede did not particularly care to socialise and make new friends either. So instead, Kaede wandered around the club, until finally on the second floor, she found a seating area, with decent lighting. 

Setting her drink down, Kaede pulled out a copy of  _War and Peace._ Kaede was aware of how theatrical the entire mise-en-scène was. A girl in a tight, black, not so modest dress, sitting at a more secluded corner of a nightclub, reading a book.

A stranger sits down opposite Kaede. His presence is strong, and Kaede notices how a strong mahogany scent. Raising her vision, Kaede looks up at the stranger. He is tall, a few heads taller than her, which is surprising as Kaede isn't short. The stranger has crimson eyes, eyes red as blood. He is also strikingly pale, paler than Kaede could ever be. 

The two held each other's gazes. Initially, Kaede was simply observing him as he was observing her, however, it soon evolved into an almost staring contest. A test to see who would back down first. The music was still beating in the background, the vibrations ringing Kaede's ears, however, an unexpected beat drop causes her to subconsciously break gaze with the stranger. Clearing her throat, Kaede spoke first.

"Can I help you?" 

There is a slight pause, and then the white-haired stranger replies. "It isn't very often that people come to clubs to read," the voice is softer than Kaede anticipated.

Kaede's phone vibrated, and the brunette glanced down with her hazel eyes, reading the new text message. _Emiko: I'm frickle-frackling with a stranger tonight. Don't worry, I'm fine. I'll text you in the morning._ Kaede typed out a quick response, acknowledging Emiko's message, and telling her once again to not forget to call in the morning. 

As this was happening, Kaede knew that the stranger's continued to stare at her, surveying her. Looking back at him, Kaede notes how attractive he is. She also realises how she hasn't been intimate with anyone since her first boyfriend broke up with her, over two years ago. Regardless, she blames the stranger's attractiveness for what followed.

One thing lead to another, and before Kaede realised, she was against a dark, brick wall, making out with the white-haired stranger. The stranger holds Kaede's wrist against the wall, essentially crushing her whilst pressing her mouth against his. His body was pressed firmly against her black dress, and  Kaede smiles into the kiss.  _He tastes like mint._ Pulling away, Kaede was out of breath as she spoke.

"My name is Kaede," taking another breath as the stranger now trailed harsh kisses across her neck, Kaede finished speaking. "Do you play shogi?"

* * *

 

On the walk to her apartment, about five blocks south, Kaede learned the strangers name. Tatara.

The walk was cold, colder than she had anticipated, and somehow, Tatara knew that. Whilst walking, he gently, but yet still quite firmly, took her hand. His large hands were warm, which to Kaede didn't make sense as he was wearing only a black shirt, and was as underdressed as she was. Pulling her long, wavy brown hair to one side, Kaede spoke in a soft voice, whilst turning to her partner. "Aren't you cold?"

The white haired kept his head straight, not turning, whilst responding. "No, I guess my body is more warm."

As they neared her complex, Kaede took the lead, gently tugging Tatara's pale hand towards the door of her apartment. She turned to face Tatara, who was keenly watching her with his crimson eyes, looking down at her lips, whilst licking his own. "Well, this is my home." Kaede's gentle voice echoed down the empty hall which was dimly lit.

"You live alone?" Kaede hummed in response, as she unlocked the door. 

As soon as they entered, they were back at it again. Inside the apartment, Kaede straightened her back, looking up to Tatara, who had his arm around her in a firm grip. Kaede found Tatara's strength in his arms comforting. Likewise, she held him close, hugging him tightly. A kiss trailed down her neck, most definitely leaving markings on her skin. To Kaede, the gentle bites he was leaving was pleasant, not painful. With a gentle hand, Kaede raised Tatara's face to her one, giving him a soft kiss, into which he smiled into.

Pulling away, Tatara said in a low voice, "Guess we aren't going to play shogi?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have never written anything so intimate, so please bear with me. please do leave feedback, i'd really appreciate it.
> 
> until next time,  
> s.


	3. t h r e e

The compelling scent of brewed coffee circulated around Kaede's favourite café near her apartment,  _Envie._ It was an early Saturday morning, and opposite the brunette was sitting Tatara, sipping on a cup of black coffee. Likewise, Kaede was drinking an iced skinny latte, whilst the pair were playing a game of shogi. Kaede was initially surprised by how well Tatara played the game on the first night, not expecting him to fair so well against herself. All throughout middle school and high school, Kaede had been part of her school's shogi team, winning titles on a national level. It wasn't that she thought Tatara wasn't intelligent, it was just that she was surprised that he was such a good strategist. 

_Kaede's slender finger picked her white lance piece, cornering Tatara's black king. Kaede looked straight into his crimson eyes, and in a soft voice with a smile, breathed. "Tsumi". Checkmate._

_Tatara simply stared at the bored, trying to configure and understand what precisely had brought about his defeat. He wasn't used to losing, it was against his nature. Kaede understood that by the way he analysed his plays, and she understood that he wasn't the type of player to make the same mistake twice._

_Turning to face her, Tatara replied in a firm voice. "One more time."_

It's been months since that night, and this has become a routine for Kaede. During the week, Kaede went to her classes in Kamii, socialised with Emiko, and returned back to her apartment before sunset. Every Friday evening, Tatara would visit and stay over the night, and the next morning, the pair would get breakfast at Envie, and play shogi. Before noon, Tatara would leave, and Kaede would go out and enjoy the city, whether it'd be visiting a park, or picking up a book from the bookstore. On Sunday night, Kaede would go back to her father's home, check up on Kyou, and endure a very awkward dinner. And that was it, that was Kaede's weekly routine now, and for the most part, Kaede was content. 

Kaede wouldn't call Tatara her boyfriend, and she was content with it. She understood that they had a intimate relationship, physically speaking. But when it comes down to knowing the personal details about each other, Kaede and Tatara's relationship was a one-sided channel. Kaede told Tatara some of the more personal aspects about herself, such as how she has a younger brother who she loves more than anything, and how her favourite food is shio ramen, and the fact that she has longed to see the aurora borealis since reading the novel, _Northern Lights_. On the other hand, Kaede didn't know such personal details about Tatara. 

But, what Kaede did know, are the deep-seated, unspoken secrets about him. She knows how he has many scars across his chest, which she had memorised through tracing her fingers over them, late in the evening. The young girl knew that he liked his coffee dark and bitter, always without milk, which she personally could not comprehend. And most of all, she knew that he had seen horrors, horrors she would never understand. She knew that by the look in his eyes, and how at night, when fast asleep, he clutched her firmly, almost as if he wanted to make sure that she wouldn't leave him while he was asleep, or maybe to protect her from the world outside.

There were inconsistencies that Kaede recognised from the moment they had met, but she tried to ignore it. She liked being around a stranger like Tatara, a stranger who didn't look at her and associate her with someone else.  _Minister Iehiro Mori's daughter. Emiko's best friend. Honour student of Kamii._ Kaede liked that Tatara looked at her, and only saw her, only saw Kaede. She also liked the fact that he had yet to beat him at shogi.

" _Tsumi_ , yet again." With a cheeky smile, Kaede beat Tatara in yet another game of shogi. Taking a sip, she watched as Tatara analysed the board and his previous moves, comprehending where he had gone wrong. 

Holding her white king, Tatara's coarse voice echoed the empty café. "It was _hishi_ , wasn't it?"

Pressing her lips around the white straw of her cup, the brunette responded. "Yeah, it was. It happened when I promoted my silver to the seventy-fourth square." She then reached out her hand, and wrapped it around Tatara's pale hand that was holding the king. His hand was warm, as usual, which is contradictory in her opinion, considering how he's the pale one, not her. 

"It's a good thing you're not a strategist for the military, or else the country's enemies would have problem with you." Pausing, Tatara met Kaede's gaze, dropping the white king, and grasping her hand more firmly. "You'd definitely become a target." Leaning over the table, Tatara placed a kiss on her Kaede, lightly grazing her bottom lip. 

Painfully aware that they are in public, Kaede pulls back and breaks apart from Tatara, and watches as Tatara bites his lip. Smoothing her shirt, Kaede retorted. "Well them, I'm pretty fortunate that I'm getting a degree in Classic History and Literature, instead of training at the CCG." 

With Kaede's last words, the atmosphere became tense, almost physically suffocating. The hand that Tatara was holding became tighter, and Kaede saw his red eyes transition into an almost bestial appearance. Feeling uncomfortable, Kaede pulled back her hand. "You okay, Tatara?" 

Shaking his head, Tatara responded in his low voice. "Yeah, I'm good. I just remembered, I have something to do. Let me walk you back home."

Grabbing her beige jacket, Kaede replied. "It's okay. There's somewhere I need to be."

* * *

 

The young brunette was in her father's penthouse, sitting in the kitchen, next to her twelve-year old brother, Kyou. The young boy, with golden blonde hair and brown eyes, was practicing algebra, revision for his prep school, he had said earlier. 

"Anything interesting happening in your life?" Kaede asked her brother, whilst biting into her strawberry muffin that she had brought along from Envie.

Shaking his golden head, Kyou answered. "Well, nothing personally, but dad did mention that he had to tell you something." And just at the mention of his title, Iehiro entered the kitchen, wearing a black Armani suit.

Anyone could assume that Iehiro was an influential man, based on his appearance. He was tall, unusually tall for a Japanese man. His stature was impressive, especially for a man who had a desk job. Likewise, he was always immaculately dressed, and his full head of dark hair, combined with his stoic expression, broadcasting  _authority._

"You really shouldn't be eating that muffin, Kaede. You've already gained substantial weight since moving away, most probably because you aren't eating quality, healthy food. Do I need to get my secretary to hire a grocery shopper for you?" Similarly, his voice also commanded respect and authority. 

Turning to face her father whilst letting out a low sigh, Kaede retorted. "That's not necessary, father. I'll watch what I eat better." She then put away the muffin she was eating, while watching Kyou doing his work. Iehiro then turned to his phone, probably messaging a government official about some important state affair, Kaede assumed. It's always some important state affair, Kaede has learned over time. After a couple minutes, Kaede realised that she was the only one not doing anything. 

"Well, I'm here, father. What did you call me here for?" Kaede asked, breaking the silence. Her voice was raspy, so she also cleared her throat.

Looking up from his phone, Iehiro spoke. "Tomorrow's dinner is cancelled. Instead, we are going to a ball being held in celebration of the recent successful operation by the CCG. We are going tomorrow as a family, and I expect you to be present, being immaculately behaved. Tomorrow is an important day for me, and you are not to be an embarrassment to the family name." 

Rolling her eyes, Kaede replied. "Would have been nice if you could have warned me sooner, you know, considering I have to find a dress and prepare myself, maybe get some pointers on how to socialise with professional killers and two-faced bureaucrats ."

"Your dress has already been chosen and approved by myself. As for your attitude, it is not going to make an appearance tomorrow." His sharp hazel eyes meet Kaede's more doe-like ones. With a stern voice, Iehiro finishes. "Have I made myself clear."

Kaede could feel herself shrinking in her shoes, and in a quiet voice, she confirmed. "Yes, father."

Completely dissenting the mood, Kyou speaks. "I don't know about you guys, but I'm starving. How about we have some lunch." 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys. i hope you enjoy this chapter, it was very time-consuming, but enjoyable for myself. please do leave reviews and helpful criticism, it'd be greatly appreciated.
> 
> until next time,  
> s.


	4. f o u r

Kaede had to admit, the ball that the CCG had organised was immaculately decorated.  _Well, that's not surprising, considering that the CCG is Japan's most funded government organisation._

Everything in the room screamed luxury, from the glimmering crystal chandeliers, to the champagne-toned wallpaper and high ceilings, down to the golden details of the metalware in the room. The ambiance was suave, the event was sophisticated, and all the guests seemed to be refined, with the conversations that Kaede couldn't help to overhear, consisting of cultivating subject matters that portrayed their enlightened, educated selves. This ball was in simple words, elegant. And Kaede felt completely out of place, like a fish out of water. 

In the ladies room, Kaede examined herself in the golden frame mirror, assessing her shimmering white ballgown. She then placed a hand at her collarbone, which was exposed due to the halter top detailing of the dress. Kaede had to admit, the dress was beautiful. Too beautiful, she knew. She didn't belong in a dress like this, or an event like this. This luxurious lifestyle was appealing, and Kaede knew that the Mori family had the funds to promote such a lifestyle if she was interested, but ultimately, she just felt uncomfortable. To Kaede, none of this was real, this lifestyle isn't real. It's all a fabricated illusion that the bourgeoise of society constructed to appease their superiority complex. Kaede realised it after the death of her mother.

Taking a breath, and smoothing down any fly-aways from her eloquent bun, Kaede walked out of the bathroom, preparing herself.  _"Stand still and look pretty."_ That's what Iehiro had told her the night before, and as much as Kaede wanted to rebel against her father and participate in the event, just to spite him, the brunette couldn't. The guests consisted of ripened government officials, their young female companions, and esteemed CCG officers who were being praised for being murderers. Prospectively, Kaede couldn't see herself socialising with such factions of people, and that's probably why she was sipping on a glass of a rose gold hue liquid, whilst standing on the balcony of the modern building, looking out at the Tokyo city below. The drink burned in her mouth, which felt suitable for her feelings. 

"Isolating yourself from such important people is not advisable. Many would consider that a representation of one's inaptitude to hold a conversation." A heavy voice echoes, disrupting the toneless sounds of wind that Kaede had become accustomed whilst standing on the balcony. Kaede turned around, to see a well-built man dressed in a white suit, with black shoulder padding and golden details. He had sharp angular dark eyes, with two moles cornering his left ones. Kaede blinked.  _Familiar._

Clearing her throat whilst setting down her champagne glass, Kaede responded cheekily. "Lucky for me, I am not trying to impress anyone. If anything, I'm trying to do the opposite." Looking at his attire once again, the young brunette remembered. "Wait," closing her eyes, the brunette continued. "You're a CCG officer aren't you?"

"My formal title is ghoul investigator," taking a step closer, Urie continued. "But yeah, I am employed by the CCG." 

"So, I'm assuming you're one the guys they're celebrating today," Kaede spoke, leaning against the glass railing, whilst propping down her left elbow. The weather was nice, despite it being early Spring. The winds on the skyscraper weren't harsh, and instead provided a pleasant breeze. 

"Yes, I am being promoted." Looking into her hazel eyes, the man introduced himself. "I'm Urie, Kuki Urie. First Class Investigator, squad leader of the Quinx Squad."

Kaede then responded. "Mori Kaede, average person. You can just call me Kaede, it doesn't matter though." She then let out a slight chuckle. "Most of the stuff you said all sounded like a foreign language to me." Sticking out her right hand, Kaede finished. "Regardless, it's a pleasure to meet you, Kuki Urie, CCG Investigator."

Urie looked down at her hand with his angular eyes, then shaking it with a firm grip. "We've met before, sort of. I've seen you around the city before." Kaede noted his calculating eyes, and realised that Urie was the type of person that thought before he did. Therefore, everything he did was calculating and with intention, meaning that he has a certain goal in mind, speaking with Kaede. 

Looking away, Kaede replied. "You did seem familiar to me, I remember seeing you once, a couple of months ago I think. But you're different now. Back then, I'm pretty sure you were slimmer." Realising that what she had said could be offensive, she quickly apologised. "Not in an offensive way of course, I'm sorry. I tend to speak before thinking things through."

Urie then took a step to face Kaede, dismissing her partial insult. "That tends to happen when you work for the CCG. You are fighting ghouls who are strong, so you need to get just as strong as them." 

Kaede tended to avoid the subject matter of ghouls, as it tended to discomfort her. It caused her to go down the spiral of thoughts about her mother, about what had happened to her, about how it could have been avoided. However, the brunette realised that she can't really ignore ghouls right now, considering that she was attending an event held by the Commission of Counter Ghoul, with guests who predominantly had their lives surrounding ghouls, or rather killing them, as the case with Urie. 

Urie's coarse voice then broke the silence that had unknowingly to Kaede, enveloped between the pair. "The ball is ending soon."

"Indeed it is." Kaede began, but then Urie smoothly cut her off.

"It'd be a crime if the most beautiful girl of the night didn't have at least one dance." Reaching out his hand to Kaede, Urie finished. "Kaede, would you like to share a dance with me?"

For a moment, Kaede contemplated her options. She could stand outside, and separate herself from people that she doesn't particularly care for. She also would consequently distance herself from her father, which is yet another perk. Howbeit, Kaede decided to accept Urie's invitation, deciding that she was conclusively bored being on her own.

Walking inside, the young brunette declared. "You should be careful of your silver-tongue, Mr. Urie. Most girl's aren't susceptible to such abilities."

"I'm not trying to be charming, I'm simply speaking the truth."

* * *

 

Urie had his large hand against the dip of Kaede's waist, which was cinched with the corset of her gown. The hall was large, providing each pair dancing considerable space. Kaede didn't recognise the music being played by the live-orchestra, but the beat was familiar enough that each individual could casually waltz to it without trouble. 

Kaede looked up to Urie, who was taller than her, but not by much. She pressed her berry-toned lips for a moment, before speaking. "You knew before meeting me that I am the daughter of Foreign Affairs Minister Iehiro Mori." Taking a breath whilst maintaining eye contact with Urie, the brunette finished. "Right?"

It was unquestionable that the people around the room were staring at the pair. People who were dancing, people who were socialising at the banquet tables, people who were having private conversations on the balcony, even the orchestra players. They were looking at Urie and Kaede dancing, and Kaede couldn't ignore it. She considered that perhaps it was due to her extravagant dress, which brought unnecessary attention, or perhaps it was because the pair were young, which was unusual in the current setting. Regardless, people were staring, and Kaede had moments ago realised that Urie was not discomforted by it. If anything, he was relishing in the attention. 

Kaede's question was ignored by Urie, who altered the topic of conversation. "I'm twenty years old."

The music then changes to a more slower tempo. Kaede sighs as Urie pulls her closer, indicating that the pair were about to slow dance. Kaede then lightly rests her head against Urie's firm chest, realising that she perhaps is being too forward.  _Oh well._

In a low voice, the young brunette responds. "I turned nineteen last Autumn."

The pair then silently danced for a while. It was calming, and Kaede had learned to ignore the stares of others. Kaede felt at ease, and it reminded her of how she felt with those she loves. Emiko. Kyou.  _Tatara._

Remembering the tall platinum blonde with crimson eyes, Kaede felt a little sad. She had seen him only yesterday morning, but she misses him. This sense of melancholy was further heightened by the fact that she most likely would not experience this sort of interaction with him. Going outside, dancing in public events, meeting the family. Kaede wouldn't know the intimate details of his life, and the pair wouldn't have a perfect, public relationship. Their relationship, if you could call it that, was casual, and it was limited to being real only between Friday night and Saturday morning. Most of all, Kaede knew that there was something abnormal about Tatara, but all she did was ignore it, at least as much as she possibly could. 

The music then ended, signalling the end of the dancing, and the beginning of the award ceremony. 

The investigators being honoured, including Urie, had lined up at the front of the stage where the orchestra had initially been, meanwhile Kaede was seated next to her father, in a banquet table surrounded by many ministers and their partners. The uncomfortable stare that her father had given was indicatory of his lack of satisfaction with her performance through out the evening, but Kaede simply ignored him. Instead she sat on the chair, with her back straight, watching as the investigators were being honoured for their heroic actions in previous operations.  _Heroic, huh? We praise one form of killers, meanwhile we prosecute others._

* * *

"Consider your status and the Mori family name before doing anything, understood Kaede?" Iehiro's authoritative voice was low as he spoke with the young brunette in the reception of the building. Sighing, Kaede complied, uttering a silent "yes", whilst looking away.

Looking down at his gold-plated Rolex analogue watch, Iehiro finished. "Something came up, and I can't drive you right now. I just ordered a black Aston Martin to pick you up soon, and drop you off at home. Dinner next Sunday will be at 6pm sharp. Do not be late." With that, Iehiro walked away, taking long strides. Kaede assumed that he had some government business to take care of.  _Or maybe he's in a rush to see yet another foreign blonde woman._

Letting out yet another sigh, Kaede began to approach the car. Her feet were aching, due to the strappy silver heels that she was wearing, and once outside, Kaede couldn't help but feel cold. The wind was harsh, which is a drastic evolution from earlier. It must have been around 1am now, later than Kaede had anticipated that she was leaving. Standing outside, the young brunette waited for the Aston Martin to arrive.  _It has gotten quite cold._ Wrapping her arms around herself, Kaede felt discomfortable.

A loud motor engine then sounded, and unintentionally, Kaede turned to the source, only to see Urie taking off his helmet as he stepped out of his sleek motorbike. "You seem cold," Urie noted as he peeled off his leather jacket. He had changed out of his earlier attire into an all-black casual ensemble.

Kaede then quickly retaliated. "Oh no, it's okay. My ride is going to be here any moment, I'll be fine." The street wasn't busy, but it also wasn't deserted. No street usually is in the 1st Ward.

"Keep it, you need it more than I do." Setting down the leather jacket on Kaede's bare shoulders, Urie concluded. "You can return it when we meet up for coffee."

Suddenly, Kaede felt a frigid breeze as the jacket was picked off of her shoulders. Instead, a familiar muscular arm replaced it, and a familiar low voice followed. "That won't be necessary." Kaede then turned to see a familiar head of white hair, and immediately, her heart began to race.

Urie's angular eyes became more predatory as he stared at the arm that had moved, wrapping around Kaede's waist. "And who might you be?" Urie spoke through gritted teeth.

"I'm Kaede's partner." Tatara cooly spoke as he looked down on Urie. Kaede noticed how possessive Tatara was acting, with the firm arm around her waist, the borderline aggressive tone lacing his words. In contrast with their bellicose attitudes, Kaede was frozen in shock. Maybe it was the fact that she had one-too-many glasses of alcohol, but Kaede was shocked to see Tatara in a setting that was not her home or Envie. 

Regardless, Kaede couldn't help but note the calculative watchful gaze of Urie's, and the young girl couldn't help but feel protective of Tatara. Urie was after all a CCG investigator, and Kaede didn't know why, but she suddenly felt sick to the stomach. Glancing around to check for an Aston Martin, and still not seeing any, Kaede thought for a moment. Taking a silent breath, Kaede turned to Tatara and gave a quick hug, trying to ignore how awkward it felt.

"I'm so happy you're here,  _babe._ Thank you for picking me up! Let's go home now." And with a feeble tug on Tatara's large warm hand, Kaede finished. "It was really nice to meet you, Urie-san. Unfortunately, we really should be going. I have classes to attend in the morning, and I really do need to get some rest." With a weak laugh, Kaede pulled Tatara, painfully aware that Urie was analysing the entire situation. She heard Urie also bid polite goodbyes, as the pair walked off. 

Once enough distance between them has been made, Kaede stopped, looking at Tatara. "Do you have a car?" That's another thing that Kaede didn't know about Tatara. She didn't know whether or not he had a car. She didn't know if he could even drive, and vice versa, he didn't know these details about her. 

"I don't." Tatara paused momentarily. "I came here by cab." And on signal, a yellow cab approached the pair, halting in front of them. Looking at his ruby eyes, Kaede let out a breath. The pair then silently entered the cab, holding each other's hands. In that moment, Kaede realised how odd the pair looked. 

Kaede was dressed like a princess, meanwhile Tatara was dressed like a thug, in dark colours, with a black bandana wrapped covering half his face. They looked like polar opposites. 

"Where to?" The cab driver asked the pair. The sounds of the city were numb, but still present. Kaede could hear the cars, and feel the vibration of Tokyo, a city that truly never sleeps.

Taking off his bandana, Tatara faces Kaede, before affirmatively offering. "My place?" 

Nodding in response, Tatara gives an address in 22nd Ward. Kaede should have been alarmed by this address, which is literally at the outskirts of the city. Instead, she faces Tatara, who's observing her with his watchful eyes, and pulls him closer, whilst resting her head against his adamantine chest, slowly falling asleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am honestly so proud of this chapter! i really hope you guys enjoyed this, it was definitely a challenge for me writing it, but i am so happy with the outcome and can't wait to show you guys what is to follow. be sure to show some love, and leave a review, i'd really appreciate it.
> 
> until next time,   
> s.


	5. f i v e

The comically-dressed pair were standing outside of an old skyscraper in the 22nd Ward. Kaede didn't recognise the building, but to be fair, she isn't very familiar with Tokyo outside the confines of the 1st Ward and the surrounding area of her university. The atmosphere was chilly, but pleasant.

Over her ballgown, Kaede was wearing Tatara's black hoodie, which was extremely oversized for her. Tatara was dressed in a black v-neck, but whilst holding his hand, Kaede noted that he was warm, as usual. The pair stood in silence for a moment, and unlike the bustle of the 1st Ward, the street was quiet. Peaceful even.

Kaede then pulled out her phone from her clutch, unlocking it.  _2:13am._ Kaede rapidly typed out a message to her father.  _The car never came. Do not worry, I am home now._ Kaede didn't actually think the her father would worry, but nevertheless, she still typed out the message. Completely unaware whilst Kaede on her phone, Tatara watched her closely, examining her every motion, admiring her.

Then, intentions became physical. When Kaede had put away her phone, she caught Tatara watching her. At first they held each other's gaze, then he looked at her lips. Then back at her eyes. This happened again. Then, he leaned down, closer to Kaede. Kaede just stood still, and waited until his face was in front of her's, until she could smell the familiar musky scent. Then Tatara gently pressed his lips against Kaede's. He hands firmly held her arms and waist, as they normally do, and his teeth lightly grazed her lips. Tatara was possessive as ever, and Kaede never thought that she could endure a man like that, yet here she is.

There were a lot of things running through Kaede's mind, nothing out of the ordinary. But in that moment, her mind was, completely blank. She couldn't think about anything else, but  _him._ Kaede finds it hilarious how she cares for a stranger so much, because ultimately, Tatara was still a stranger to her. She knew nothing about him, and to her, he was unpredictable. However, she also felt like she knew him better than anyone, which to her, made no sense at all.  

After some time, Tatara pulled away from Kaede, watching her, before speaking.

"You know, don't you?"

A tear streamed down Kaede's face, which Tatara wiped away. She could feel her heart beating, fast. She always tried to ignore it, ignore it not only with him, but with everyone. But in that moment, Kaede understood that this was something she had to confront. 

Tatara sighed at her silence, then proceeded. "Since when?"

His hand was now holding her's, and his thumb was tracing gentle circles around her palm. She knew that he cared for her, he had to have, and the way he treats her is exemplary of it. Biting her cheek, she spoke softly. "You know, I've never seen you eat." Another tear streamed down her face, followed by another one. She was now crying, and she couldn't stop. "I've only ever seen you drink coffee. Nothing else."

Pulling away from him, Kaede chocked on a sob whilst trying to speak. "Tatara, why am I still alive?"

With that, Tatara's crimson eyes widened. Swiftly, he pulled her into a tight hug, and whispered into her ear harshly. "Don't ever say that." Tatara could feel her tear seeping into his shirt, and Kaede couldn't stop the crying. She couldn't stop, and the tears kept flowing, and suddenly, her mind was a mess. All she could think about is how much she loves Tatara, how he and she our different. About her mother's kidnapping and death, about her father's lack of love. About Emiko, about Kyou. About how she doesn't have many friends. About how much work she has to do for school still. About how she forgot to wash a plate before leaving the house. Everything.

But her wet tears eventually did stop, and Kaede then realised what exactly was happening. She then tried to push Tatara away, but he still kept his tight grip. With a trembling voice, Kaede broke the silence. "Tatara, are you a ghoul?"

Kaede then felt the muscular man take a deep breath, and mumbling a silent "sorry". Kaede then felt a sharp pain at the back of her head, before passing out.

* * *

 

When the young brunette woke up, she felt confused. The room was blank, empty, consisting of a bed, a dresser and a window, with everything in white. The size was substantial, and the minimal amounts of furniture, and complete remnants of someone living here, such as photos, made the place seem even more haunting to Kaede. 

A throbbing headache followed sharply, causing the young girl to groan. Kaede didn't how long she was passed out for, but it was still dark outside. And there was a storm. 

The only sounds that were audible to Kaede were that of raindrops splattering against the ceiling, with the occasional thundering. Kaede could tell that the winds were harsh, and the tempest was at full swing. The tan girl than stood up from the bed to examine the storm, only to realise that she wasn't wearing her white dress. Instead, she was wearing a long-sleeve black shirt, which hung on her like a dress, reaching her thighs. The sleeves hung past her arms, which to Kaede, appeared facetious. 

Rolling her sleeves while watching the storm, Kaede tried to recall the last thing she remembered. Father. The CCG Ball. Socialising with Urie.  _Tatara._

Promptly, Kaede inspected the room. She tried to find her dress, because she knew that she couldn't leave the room like this.  _I'm positive this is Tatara's._

When she opened the dresser that was on the opposite side of the room, she found her dress and shoes, neatly placed. She considered putting on her gown, but decided otherwise. 

_"Tatara, are you a ghoul?"_

Kaede felt tears streaming down her face again. Of course this would happen. Of course she'd be the type of person to get attached to a monster, a killer. A ghoul. It made Kaede sick to the stomach, and if she had any actual food in it, she most probably would have thrown up. Wiping her eyes with the sleeves of her t-shirt dress, Kaede ran to the door, wearing her heels, only to find that it was locked. She tried to open it again. And again. Repeatedly. 

But the door, wouldn't open, and that's how Kaede realised that she was stuck in the room, trapped.  _Trapped by Tatara._

She then rushed to the window, and looked down. She was most probably on the twentieth floor of the building, too high to climb or jump down. Kaede also realised how musty and pungent the scent in the room was. The atmosphere was dry, and her throat felt scratchy, consequently. Remembering that she had a clutch with her phone, she tried to find it, only to realise that it was too dark.

The downpour only got stronger as time past, and the water droplets gained even more momentum. The sounds were loud, harsh, but Kaede was grateful, as it concealed the sounds of her sobs. She felt like a mess, and her mind was burning. Internally, she felt at a state of chaos, and as the young girl searched for a light switch and her clutch, many questions were gushing through her head.  _Who is Tatara. Why did he do this. Why am I here. Why did I not ask more questions. What's going to happen to me. How did this happen to me._

Kaede considered that perhaps she was being too melodramatic. Physically, she was in no pain, other than extreme hunger and a migraine. But she knew that she was not sexually assaulted, and she did not think that she had any physical injuries. But regardless, she still felt scared. Frightened. 

The young brunette then found the light switch, and tried to turn on the ceiling lights in the room, only to realise that the switch wasn't working. That confirmed her suspicions about the building. It was most definitely abandoned, and that did not help comfort Kaede. 

With that, Kaede felt defeated. She didn't know what to do, and hence, she simply sat down on the bed, covering her body with a thin white blanket that was soft to the touch. The college student sat there, but she didn't know for how long. There was no indicator of time in the room, no clock, no watch, and she couldn't see anything from outside the window, but the bare skies. Sitting there felt torturous. The night seemed to drag on forever, and that's why Kaede assumed that she had probably woken up around 7pm. The next day. Meaning that she had missed her classes, and was in the literal sense, missing. 

Kaede wondered whether anyone would have noticed. Conveniently, Emiko was in Osaka for a funeral until Wednesday. Other than that, there wouldn't be anyone to notice Kaede's absence. These were the types of thoughts that plagued Kaede's mind whilst waiting, and Kaede kept thinking, more and more. 

In the meantime, the heavy tempest didn't appear to slowdown anytime soon. The storm was raging, harshly, as if it had come to life and was angry at the world for all its bad deeds and immoral sins. The downpour acted as background music, and Kaede just stared at the blank wall opposite the bed, watching as the window's shadow came to life.

She didn't know how had passed, but when she heard the door unlock, her heart sped up rapidly. The beating filled her ears, and she once again felt sick to stomach. She knew that it was Tatara, because who else could it be, but nonetheless, Kaede laid down and shut her eyes, pretending to be asleep. The heavy footsteps were loud, but yet smooth, and after a couple of beats, she felt the bed sink to her left. She then felt a familiar warm hand graze her cheek, and the hand lingered there.

"I can hear your heart race." Kaede heard him whisper to her ear, and unintentionally, she opened her eyes, to see his face up close.

Looking at him, Kaede's started to beat even faster. She couldn't see his eyes clearly, therefore, his eyes couldn't betray his feelings as they normally did. She couldn't see emotions in them, she couldn't see whether he was happy, angry, sad, or jealous. Instead, she saw his hair, which looked more grey than white, completely drenched, with water droplets fallings. She realised that his clothing was also soaking, meaning that he had been outside.  _But what for?_

Kaede watched as Tatara pulled away, and she watched as he approached the dresser, changing into dry clothing. She watched his motions, and watched as he stripped off his clothing, article by article. She was aware that he knew that she was watching him, and he kept his back to her the entire time. She was hugging her knees, feeling that the stuffy room was now cold. Once done, he walked up to the bed, sitting down next to her. The pair sat in silence for a while, with Tatara watching her as Kaede focused on the blank wall.

"I should go home." Kaede's soft voice broke the comfortable silence that had enveloped the room. She tilted her head, facing Tatara. Who just sat still, not answering her. Watching him, Kaede realised that she couldn't see him breathe. Unlike her, with her constant deep breaths and sighs as coping mechanisms for her anxiety, Tatara never took any unnecessary action. Thinking on, Kaede realised that Tatara never showed any indication of being a human, nor had he ever feigned acting like one.  _Wait, do ghouls breathe? They're not undead, like vampires from Western fairytales._

The young brunette then let out a low sigh. "At the very least, you should probably feed me some food, you know, before I get reduced to bones."

* * *

 

The couple were sat at a 24-hour diner,  _Denny's._ In front of Kaede was a chicken caesar salad, heavily garnished with dressing. Unsurprisingly, Tatara had ordered a black coffee, and the pair were seated at the most isolated booth in the diner. Kaede practically devoured the salad, in an attempt to satiate her extreme hunger, and Tatara watched her do so in silence. 

Kaede didn't know where exactly they were, nor did she particularly care. Leaving the room was interesting enough to Kaede.

_"Keep your eyes. Please." Tatara spoke those four simple words quietly, gently. In response, Kaede nodded, affirming her compliance. She closed her eyes, and she felt Tatara pick her up, as if she weighed nothing. She kept her eyes clothes as they left the room, and Kaede knew that they left the room by the drastic change in scent. There was a sharp copper scent, and it felt intense to Kaede, a sensory overload. Again, she felt sick to her stomach, but she ignored it, instead clutching onto Tatara tightly._

"What's the date and time?" Kaede asked as soon as the pair was seated. The storm had stopped a while ago now, and outside was chilly due to it being damp. This made the Denny's even more warm and welcoming. 

Tatara passed her the menu as he responded. "Technically, it's now Tuesday." He paused, looking at his watch. "1:33am." Kaede had gone over a full day without eating, and she was starving. A young male waiter, no older than she was, came by, and took their order, and they received it pretty quickly. The Denny's was deserted, and seemed haunting as well. If anything, Kaede's entire experience at the 22nd Ward was, well, unique. 

Kaede realised that she had to somehow convince Tatara to let her go home. She had missed an entire day of classes, and if Emiko found out, she'd never hear the end of it. More importantly, she had to also deal with her father who, though unlikely, may have sent someone to check up on her. 

Kaede also noticed that the pair sat in silence, a lot. The young girl had assumed that they simply found comfort in each other's company, a sort of salvage from reality. But now, Kaede realised that maybe, it was because each individual was simply too afraid of revealing, revealing too much. Kaede was scared of making herself seem vulnerable and dependent, and thus avoided oversharing. Kaede realised that Tatara didn't want to reveal his ghoul side, and instead, just didn't reveal much of himself.

"One of my favourite poems is 'Daddy' by Sylvia Plath." Kaede began, as she stabbed a strawberry piece from her slice of strawberry shortcake. The inside pulp of the berry oozed out as Kaede popped the piece in her mouth. Tatara was now drinking his third cup of coffee, which Kaede found interesting, because she knew that Denny's didn't have particularly good coffee. 

In response, Tatara raised his brow as he let out a small chuckle. "Daddy?" 

Kaede returned his smile, as she took another bite of the cake. "Yeah, Daddy." Kaede mechanically chewed on the dessert before swallowing. The food wasn't also particularly good, but Kaede was hungry, and so she ate. Maybe that's why Tatara was drinking so much coffee as well. The thought made Kaede's stomach churn.

The young girl breathed through her stuffy nose, before continuing. "I really like Sylvia Plath. Do you know her?"

Tatara responded, as he took another sip of his coffee. "Can't say I do."

"Plath was an American poet, but she died a long time ago, at least fifty years ago, I think. Her life story is sad. Interesting, but pretty sad." Tatara's attention was completely focused on her, and the glint in his eyes encouraged Kaede to continue. 

Kaede cleared her throat. "Her writing is powerful. Emotive. Scary even. She was diagnosed as clinically depressed, and her poetry really reflected that." Kaede took a final bite of her cake, before finishing. "I was in high school when I first read her poetry. It was on one of those suggested summer reading lists for English, and I just fell in love. I read the poem, Daddy, and her words just really resonated with me."

In all honesty, Kaede thought that Tatara would have been laughing at her by now, laughing at her odd fascination with this poem, and the American society in general. Kaede didn't know why, but she loved studying American literature. She knew her own father had always resented her for not striving to get a "useful" degree such as a law or medical one, but Kaede didn't care. She'd rather not get a degree, then get one that she didn't care about. 

Instead, Tatara just took her hand. "You should read me the poem sometime."

He then pulled out a five thousand yen bill, leaving it on the table. Standing up, he finished. "We should get back now." Kaede looked up at him, and questioned her self, her sanity. Why was she listening to this man, doing whatever he was saying. Nonetheless, Kaede stood up, and left the diner with him, not looking back.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! i'm running on three hours of sleep and no caffeine, so please excuse any grammatical or spelling mistakes in this chapter. regardless, i still hope you enjoy it. the title now makes sense with the story, and i'm so excited to write more about kaede and tatara's relationship, and to have more intense scenes. also, i've never been to a denny's, but i read a murakami book called "after dark", and my depiction of denny's is a partial homage to one of my most favourite authors ever. don't forget to leave a review, i'd really appreciate it!
> 
> until next time,  
> s.


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